Clouded Mind

Here's a collection of Wallscrolls and random objects up for sale.

For prior listings:
VHS
DVDs
CDs
Manga
Plush
Doujinshi
Anime Cels

( Wallscrolls )

( Merchandise )

More items will be added to this page as I find and photograph them.

These prices do not reflect shipping costs. I can ship overseas.

I accept PalPal, Money Order, concealed cash, and personal checks [there is a brief waiting period for checks to clear before items are sent out].

Comment to reserve item and shipping will be calculated once I have a zipcode.
I can offer deals if multiple items are bought.

Now on Sale
Doujinshi and Anime Cels
All sorts of series available.
Saiyuki, Naruto, Fushigi Yugi, Inuyasha, Yami no Matsuei, Yugioh, Wolf's Rain, One Piece, Tenshi ni Narumon, Weiz Kreuz, GTO, Gundam Wing, Kizuna, Level C...and more!

Don't forget the rest of my sales can be found:
Wallscrolls
Everything Else
VHS
DVDs
CDs
Manga
Plush

( Doujin )

A long lost form of animation production, own of piece of history by purchasing one of these hand-painted ( Anime Cels. )

These prices do not reflect shipping costs. I can ship overseas.I accept PalPal, Money Order, concealed cash, and personal checks [there is a brief waiting period for checks to clear before items are sent out].
Comment to reserve item and shipping will be calculated once I have a zipcode.I can offer deals if multiple items are bought.

FOR SALE

Prices Slashed!
Please scroll down to the bottom for instructions if interested.

And if this isn't what you're looking for, then try:
Wallscrolls
Everything Else
Doujinshi
Anime Cels

( VHS )

( DVD )

( CD )

( Manga )

( Plush )

These prices do not reflect shipping costs. I can ship overseas.

I accept PalPal, Money Order, concealed cash, and personal checks [there is a brief waiting period for checks to clear before items are sent out].

Comment to reserve item and shipping will be calculated once I have a zipcode.
I can offer deals if multiple items are bought.

All VHS tapes do run. All DVDs and CDs are unscratched. English manga is well-read but the Japanese volumes are pristine. All plushes are in mint condition with tags intact.
All items come from a non-smoking home.

Some one please RP with me?

I'm kinda...going stir crazy. :(

Shit!

This is why I hate hate hate hate HATE not having anyone around!

I had absolutely NO problem hemming the My Little Pony dress on my form. Came out Perfect! <3

But the Nodoka dress...it's too fucking short in the back!

I'm hoping the red trim can salvage it if I position it right.
In other words, I need to sew it higher in front and lower in the back so it can add two inches to the length and add nothing to the front.
Front is Perfect! <3
Back is TOO SHORT!
ARGH!

Curse my big ass!

ANd now my left ear piercing is infected...
Ouch. -_-

For the first time in six years, I'm letting my hair grow out.

Back in August, I opted to dye my hair a deep burgandy red...almost dark pink, if you will. Mainly it was so it could blend into my Gaara and Natsuo wigs [since I was cosplaying one or both at all 3 cons I attended last year].

It's down to my shoulders now and I'm wondering...should I keep dyeing it red/pink or go with another color?

Go back to my blue/black?
Bleach it blonde again?

Any ideas or suggestions?

PS

My back hurts!
And some one RP with me, dammit!

I'll share the same thing here I texted a bunch of people with at work while hiding in the back room:

TOO HOT!
TOO HOT!
TOO FUCKING HOT!

No. No. No. No.
108 is not acceptable summer weather!

Anyhoo...
After watching some questionable videos tonight, made me wish I was attractive enough to pull off some fanservice-y stuff.
But any attempts I could make would just be laughable rather than tittilating.
Bah...

Speaking of which...
Gaara's back! <3

Wow, 3 entries in a week [so far]! I must be making up for lost time. LOL

Today was another hot day. I skipped work yesterday to start sewing on the skirt to the MLP lolita dress. That's 47" worth of gathered pleats. And I counted.

Over 150 pins. Yikes, do my fingers hate me.

But yeah, it was hot today. And it reminds me of how much I HATE working outside. But I mean, I worked outside before when I sketched for Kaman's so what's different this time around? Um...geography? At Kaman's, that was NC...nearer to the coast. The summers were hot but not so bad. OK is just...fucking HOT.

I'm sitting naked in front of my AC until the sweat dries off my skin. I hate feeling so...wet.

Wow, was that ever tittilating. LOL

I managed to call my step-dad during work. Gave me an excuse to seek refuge in front of an air conditioner for about a half hour. Ulterior motives, but hey...I still wanted to wish him a happy father's day.

I dunno. I barely know the guy and he's been married to my mom for 13 years now. But when a stranger joins your family a little late in your life, it's harder I think to get used to them. ANd I never got used to Kim. Go figure.

I got a box from my grandmother the other day. I feel sorta crazy that the first thing I did upon seeing the tee shirts she threw in was smell them. Nostalgia at it's best, I think, because I really miss my grandma. But she sent me a lot of food.

And I bought a new lava lamp. The one my sister bought me for Christmas 10 years ago finally broke. I feel sorta bad about having to replace it because...well, I'm sentimental about it, yeah. I mean, I wanted a lava lamp since I was a child but was denied. Then for the holiday, my sister bought me one. I took it with me when I moved to NC and when I moved here too. A part of me doesn't want to just toss it away. But I need to.

It's been ages since I've RPed. I really need something to do sometimes because I've been getting really bored lately.

I stayed up until 7am doing two things.

The first was watching Tank Girl with Froggy. No, I didn't have company over. It's just one of those things I do in lieu of RP because she doesn't seem inspired to RP with me lately. What we do is play a video simultaneously online and chat about it while it's going on.

It's sort of the same thing that's done with Doc Mock's Movie Masouleum, where a movie is streamed live and the viewers can talk about it in the chat room with the hosts live. It's really quite fun, I think. Especially if it's a movie you've seen.

The other thing I did was make extensive headway on my My Little Pony cosplay. For those not in the know, last year I agreed to join a group cosplay to create essentially a herd of My Little Ponies. But it's not furry cosplay, but rather conceptual fashion based on the character and personal tates.

And I made the mistake of deciding to make a full lolita outfit based on the pegasus Firefly. So I have this half-finished bubblegum pink dress that I spent days cutting and dying trim to match [and I still need more lace].

But the bodice is mostly done now. I just have to try it on with the bra and see if it'll close in the back. Then I can add ruffle and lace to the neckline and jump in on the skirt. This will be my first lolita dress [the Sasuke lolita was a two piece mock up of a dress and the Princess Princess nurse lolita was more costume than actual lolita].

No, I don't have any designs. But if you buy the US release of the Gothic Lolita Bible, you'll find in the Fall 08 edition the white Kana dress [with the cross over bodice and three tiered skirt] which is the inspiration for my design. I'd use the actual Kana pattern provided in the mook, but I'm hardly a size 8 [though I did use the back piece at least].

Yay for Frakenstein projects! <3

I need a lolita icon.

It probably sounds a little self centered to ask if anyone remembers me, like I'm grubbing for attention.

But it's okay since I know how these journals can get a little neglected, and over time you sort of forget who the names are on your flist. Even looking over [and cleaning out] my old flist, I couldn't even recall who some of these people were.

Some, not all.

But what prompted me to dust off the old blog and attempt to communicate with my nearest and dear?

I got a comment.

Yeah, we all get comments. But when the last comment you recieved was waaaaay back in August on a poll that didn't go anywhere and the newest one placed yesterday on an outpouring of the heart...kinda makes a difference.

So I got this comment from a stranger, as I tend to do from time to time. This was from a fan. Yes, I do have fans. I'm not egotistical enough to brag about them, but I can admit that about once a year, a girl will contact me in some way to thank me for the old fanfics that I wrote waaaaaay back in in the first part of this decade. Apparently I'm responsible for a lot of girls getting into yaoi. And I'm okay with that.

But this comment from a fan who stalked me [and I use that term light-heartedly] to the far corners of the internet came with hopes of seeing more of my work. And instead found an entry in the trust experimental journal that I forgot to lock. And she, never knowing me, gave me wonderful words of encouragement.

The result?

I find myself -wanting- to write again. For a stranger to care about me made me want to sit down and pen some great romances again [and lord knows I have more fandoms than just FY and Naruto to work with now XD]. It was like...I owed it to her, and all the others who've been moved by what I wrote 5-6 years ago.

I had the distinct honor of knowing just how much my fanfics are known last year.

At Akon, Sara brought a girl into our room because she had no place to stay the night. We sat down and watched some yaoi DVDs I just bought [Sensitive Pornograph and Embracing Love], and she then noticed the 'no da' tattoo on my back. Turns out she was a Fushigi Yuugi fan. So FY combined with yaoi means...yes, sure enough, she'd read my old fics. Not just read, but LOVED them. And I sat there, listening to her gush about how I was her favorite author [alongside Chichiri no Miko], all the while...she didn't realize it was me in front of her. This was an unbiased fangirling I was witnessing.

And Sara was cracking up beside me because she knew. She was the one who finally told the girl, and even pointed to my name badge [although I tend to go by Sakata instead of my full pen name, how many Sakata's are out there? LOL]. Once she knew, she squealed with joy and bragged that her sister was going to FLIP when she found out that she'd met me.

Seriously. How can I not be inspired after knowing that there are people out there who annonmously love me?

I dunno, maybe it's just in my nature. I like making people happy.

Anyhoo, now that I have that out of my system, maybe I can start writing more, both in fanfiction [maybe if I get some great inspiration LOL] and in this journal.

Don't be afraid to comment and tell me what's up! <3

This next part took a lot of time to ponder over because this singular incident was the biggest blow to my psychological well-being. I've had a few since then, but this weakened my resolve and made me more defenseless against the emotions.

If anyone has been a friend of my journal since I first started it back in 2002, then you might already know exactly what I'm about to bring up. For those who don't...I'll start from the beginning and detail the events that led up to this moment.

Back in the tail end of 2001, I met a guy while we were both enlisted. His name was David and we hit it off. Within a week, he was discharged and back home in North Carolina. I didn't get my discharge until months later, and went home to Texas. But all the while, we kept in touch. Then after a failed job attempt, he invited me to live out in NC with him. A change of pace was exactly what I needed, so I took off.

The first year was rough. I still had to deal with the job market and David's parents. And then David hit me with his feelings. He wanted to persue a relationship, but I'd been around him long enough to know that he needed some one who could tell him what to do. I couldn't do that. Besides, I needed some one who was more supportive emotionally, not some one who would cater to my every whim. In essence, he was a mama's boy.

I had no problem with him seeking relationships of his own. Meanwhile, I had two great jobs, we had an apartment together with another friend of mine I helped to move to NC from Florida, and I was happy because it felt like home.

Then Dvaid got a girlfriend. I was happy for him, until she moved in. Overnight, she took over the apartment, rearranging the rules and taking an immediate dislike to me. I suddenlly felt like a stranger in my own home. I thought at least Holly had my back, but that wasn't the case.

Instead, David and Melissa sat me down 5 days after my 23rd birthday [which everyone ignored], and told me they wanted me gone. Seems Melissa kept a notebook about every flaw I displayed, from going into their room to retireve my mail they were witholding from me to watching Dvaid play video games on the computer. David even went so far as to say that my mother told him that nobody wanted me. My mother disproved this when I called her that night, much to my relief. But the words still hit their mark. Holly didn't even come to my defense, just ran away, which spoke a lot about our friendship.

Within two months, I was back in Texas where everything felt safe and familiar. And I spent a full year wallowing in depression. The only friends I has were online. I didn't cosplay, didn't go to conventions, didn't even look for work. And to this day, I'm convinced that every one of my friends will turn on me the way David and Holly did. It's a severe paranoia that affects my level of trust.

I want to believe in my friends, but that fear is always there because that one moment hurt me far deeper than any abuse or injury sustained.

Tokyo in Tulsa starts tomorrow!

Due to work constraints, I'm only attending Friday and Saturday, which means I can still wear two costumes [or one on both days].

Problem is, I've got four to choose from.

I've been asking friends via text but the answers have been mixed so I'm posting a poll that will end tonight so I have time to prepare and set up what to wear tomorrow.

( Poll under here )

Thanks everyone!

I have achieved one of my life goals tonight.

For those in the know, I am a BIG musical freak. But I've never been lucky enough to actually see one live before, only movie adaptations or stage recordings.

I -knew- Phantom of the Opera was in town, but didn't give it much mind because of this and that. And yet, my mother pointed it out to me when they were in town Friday. She was even nice enough to find the link for me.

So I sat in the nosebleed section, wishing for binoculars I couldn't afford. But the musical was showing barely seven blocks away from my apartment, so I HAD to go [same reason I opted to go see Death Note and Bleach at the movies earlier, as well as attend Tokyo in Tulsa].

But let me tell you something. PotO was THE reason I got into musicals.

Waaaaaay back in fourth grade, my mother got the two-disc original cast recording and I spent all of 5th grade drawing pictures of Erik in my notebook. In sixth grade, my mother used the Overture to wake me up in the morning. Since then, I grew to love ANYTHING Andrew Lloyd Webber has done.

And even from the nosebleed section [because that was all I could afford], sandwiched between teen girls who wouldn't shut up and a 12-year old who enjoyed making her seat squeak, unable to see much of anything from the distance I sat...I was in HEAVEN. I still have chills.

But that is one item on my 'to-do before I die' list that is officially checked off!

Hm, it's been raining since yesterday.

( Story Continues )

Well this sucks...

I get in Beyond Seiryo University [third in a series of tantilizing yaoi manga], which puts me in the mood for yaoi RP.

So I call people. I tag people on AIM.

And I get a big fat nothing.

Gee, thanks.

It's 10pm and I haven't a damn thing to do. What the hell is wrong with this picture?

At least I have my ticket to see Phantom of the Opera tomorrow night. So excited! This will be the FIRST musical I've ever seen! And this one in particular, I literally grew up on.

I worked.

It was hot.

My mom looked great, though. Seems like Weight Watchers is doing wonders for her.

Coworker threw a hissy at having to stay till 9pm and thanks to that, we ended up closing early.

Went to an upscale mexican resteraunt, had drinks. THere were no less than three firework shows going on simultaneously.

My parents are due to drop by any minute for breakfast.

I think maybe I should go put on pants.

Today I managed to slam a car door on my right thumb.

Now it's all discolored and swollen, and I get random pain when I do normal car stuff. And they were out of ice packs at work so I ended up with a bag of frozen lima beans to quell the swelling.

BUT I can assure the worried masses that it's NOT broken.

Tomorrow my parents will be in town to visit for only a day, but they're bringing goodies [anime and cosplay stuff]. It'll be worth it to skip work, I think.

Crap, it's a little tricky to type with this swollen digit.

Okay so...I heard about this con and had mild interest due to financial reasons. I've already invested a bit in traveling to Akon and Afest already, and this was smack dab in the middle of the two.

Then out of curiousity, I visited the website to see what was going on.

And I found out the con is FIVE MINUTES away from my apartment.

Literally two blocks away.

If I act now, registration is only $30.

This would sorta be the first con I'd go to alone. So that has me a little apprehensive. But...

Should I?

You know...I think my boredom might abate somewhat if I got a fish.

I'd much prefer a kitty but since this apartment building prohibits pets...

*sigh*

Gah!

Here I was, making serious headway on my Princess Princess nurse loli dress when the needle on my machine snapped!

And wouldn't you know it...I didn't pack any spares!

Like I've ever had a needle break on me in the entire six years I've worked on or owned a machine?

So, it gets tacked on to my shopping list for tomorrow because there's no way I'm driving out there when I don't have to. XP
I hate driving...

Still...now I have nothing to do at all today.

But, I did get some wicked inspiration from Gintama [which I've been watching a lot of lately], and now I wanna cosplay Sakata Gintoki from the crossdressing episode [24]. I've already secured THE perfect wig. And it'll be good practice for making kimonos.

Now only if my working in a garage didn't brown my arms so. Better buy stock in bleaching cream since I'm going to be combating the results of unwanted tanning steadily for the next three months. LOL